a two-bedroom in brooklyn

my life on skid(mark) row

2010-10-12T12:30:00.004-04:00

i'm not sure that any of this will come out in full sentences (or in english, for that matter), but it's october now and i'm brimming over with words that need to get typed. ede is five months old, and i think it's safe to say that we have settled into life with a baby. of course, that discounts the fact that every day brings new surprises and that one can never tell what one's day will hold, but nonetheless, if you can accept surprises, you can settle into the life that it involves. so, to recap, i've settled into the fact that i'm just going to be unsettled for now. it's wonderful! all the cliches have proven themselves to be true!

we indeed can't imagine life without our little ede.

we didn't know we could love a little one that much.

it's true, it is different when it's your own (except in the diaper world - hello. smell is smell!)

and yes, our lives are changed forever.

but changed in such a good way. the kind of change that makes you begin to see yourself for who you truly are (a selfish, self-occupied wimpster wife) and inspires you to do anything and everything to be what you need and want to be. for me that would essentially be a selfless, loving, tender wife and mama. thank God he can make that even possible! no one could have prepared me for the emotion and passion that is brought on by motherhood. it's the raw kind of emotion resulting from the intense passion to do what is best for your family. my problem usually lies in maintaining a prayerful flexibility to weather the passion, discerning if it's rooted in my grasp for control, and realizing that i'm not the one in control.

fortunately, the sweet cherub we're gifted with is just precious and funny enough to remind me that life is too short to sweat the small stuff (like make-up.....or lunch). it's so amazing to see her personality develop with her sense of humor. she laughs, but only when she wants to, and she cries, but not enough to make me cry. there is a smile behind her eyes most of the time, and her world is a constant joy ride. just recently while spending time with family outside the city, jed and i noticed that we really are her best friends. she's not quite as comfortable or trusting with other people, even family, but with us she knows she's secure. i can't tell you what that does for our egos!

as different of a person as i now am on a strictly definitive level, i can only hope that this process called life continues to change me into what i need to be. what a great experience, what a wonderful privilege, and what an amazing journey!

....then came baby in a baby carriage!

2010-05-26T15:44:00.006-04:00

eden is 20 days old today and i'm finally sitting down to type out my thoughts from the last 3 weeks. never could i have imagined a more exhilarating experience than having a baby added to our home! she is equal parts terrifying and inspiring, and we love her so very much. i'm not sleep-deprived by definition, just tired. but on the flip side - I CAN BEND OVER AGAIN! (there's no greater thrill, people) i can still remember what it's like to get 12 consecutive, uninterrupted hours of sleep, yet i still melt every single time i get up in the wee hours of the morning and look at her little wrinkled crying face as she screams for her mama. jed and i both are entirely smitten by this little child. she entertains us with her hat full of tricks, scolds us when we're not efficient with meal time, inspects our every feature when we talk to her, and continuously makes us the happiest people alive!

we put a lot of time into choosing her name. we didn't want to cramp her style with a boring name, nor did we want to overwhelm her with a crazy name. eden means “paradise.” we chose Eden for a variety of reasons. first, we love the name. she has been our little “ede” (pronounced ee-dee) for many months now. second, we want eden to always be drawn to the thought that life on this sin-cursed earth is not an end all. and thank God it’s not. the painful consequences of living in a sin-cursed world are a gift from God pointing us to find our hope and joy in the life to come, the life in which God will restore eden-like sinless perfection to his newly created heavens and earth. it is this future paradise that we hope and long for. third, we want eden to always be drawn to the thought that eden-like sinless conditions can be brought to her own heart while on this earth. through Jesus Christ, God sees us as current dwellers in his spiritual eden. eden, out of which we were expelled because of our sin, is once again our dwelling place because God has brought us there by his great grace to dwell with him by the work of Jesus Christ on our behalf. her middle name is janetta. we wanted to honor both of our mothers ("jan" and "etta") and their sacrificial love for each of us, and this name just made the best sense. it doesn't hurt that she was born on mother's day weekend too.

as we would have guessed, ede looks mostly like jed. as an in-law in the tyrpak family, i was hoping that my genes would finally rise up and be the first dominant in-law gene in the tyrpak clan, but no such luck. you can spot a tyrpak a mile away, and ede is no exception. she's just beautiful - rounded cheeks, trusting eyes, delicate lips, a tiny chin, and dimples that'll take your breath away. i'm biased - i understand - but she's so much more wonderful than we thought she would be! maybe it's because, after nearly 7 blissful years of marriage, we were finally ready to embark on parenthood; or maybe it's because she truly is a piece of heaven in our family. i don't know. i just know that i feel so priveleged to be her mama, and her presence in our home is the best gift possible. God has shown such kindness to us in giving us the gift of life! there were so many complications and things that could have gone wrong, but the grace given throughout this pregnancy and birth has been more intense than any complication could've been.

she's a mama's girl and a daddy's girl and together we're the three bestest of friends. we're so thankful for this new adventure, and with every step along the way we praise God for our little gift in eden.

calm before the storm

2010-05-03T10:10:00.005-04:00

not that life is extremely calm right now, or that we expect a full-out storm, but it's a little bit that way. it's a rainy monday morning,and i'm officially on maternity leave. our baby girl will be here this week! our weekend was spent trying to gather a few last minute diapers, make a few returns, and stock up on necessities since it'll be awhile before we emerge to the land of the living again. this is a special monday morning though. it's our last monday without kids. yesterday was our last sunday without kids. next monday, we'll hopefully be coming home from the hospital as a family of three. and then... LIFE! late nights, early mornings, snuggling with a newborn, memorizing her face so we won't forget anything, relishing in the newness of life that God has so kindly brought into our home, and from what i hear going through about 8 diapers a day! it's here and we could not be more excited!

i was telling jed yesterday that this huge sense of "heritage" and what we will give our daughter has been occupying my mind lately. i want to get a few maternity shots this week sometime because that is the one thing that i would love to have from my mom - shots of her pregnant with me. unfortunately, i wasn't born in the digital age, but fortunately our baby is! i want her to have proof of how much joy she brought us even before she was ever born, along with the pictures of her happy parents. i've been thinking about the next 20 years as a whole, and just praying desperately that we do a good job with this little one. it'll only be by grace if she happens to be anything close to kind, loving, caring, and gentle because right now i am afraid of only passing down my sarcasm, quick tongue, inflexibility, and massively scarring fat stage circa 1993.

as i left work on friday and sat in the train on my way to meet jed for dinner and a movie, the last year of our lives overwhelmed me. my maternity leave started april 30th, and my first day at this job was april 27th, 2009 (during the famous unemployed and homeless act of 09). i remember so well this time last year - the newness of my job was freaking me out a bit, i wondered if i would ever get used to my co-workers and my position, and the weight of jed still needing a job was on both of our shoulders. in the last year, we have settled into solid employment, life in the city, and the joy of eminent parenthood. i don't feel older yet, just a lot more full. the last time something this big happened to us was when we got married, and during the first few months of our marriage, the hugeness of how it would change our lives was nowhere near our thinking. looking back, it was the most meaningful and wonderful thing to ever happen to us. likewise, i know that in a couple of months or years, it will hit us just how drastically changed and vastly meaningful our lives have become. jed and i are inseparable and deeply content, yet our lives are about to fill up with even more meaning and depth. just an incredible thought.

this week will be full of little projects, pre-op appointments, a couple of errands, naps, a little decorating, and mentally preparing for what's ahead. can you really prepare for something like this? can you truly be ready? it's like being on the roller coaster at the top of a hill, and the dork running the machine lets the cars sit at the top for just a little too long. you keep hearing the clicking noise, and you try to hold your stomach for the plunge, but NOTHING could've prepared you for the rush of being let go. it's absolutely terrifying and still the funnest ride possible! right now we're anticipating the hill. as the week goes on, we'll be stuck at the top with the endless clicking, and next monday will begin the most terrifying and wonderful moments of our lives. how can it not be exciting?!

giselle, heidi, and amy

2010-03-30T16:14:00.003-04:00

almost 6 months ago we found out i was pregnant. it was a time of sheer exhilaration, fear, joy, and wonder. neither of us knew what to expect or how we would handle it, yet thus began our journey into a world we never imagined could be so amazing. for me, this was a journey to beat the odds, to be different, and to excel at pregnancy. i refused to consider gaining more than the needed 12 pounds, and after having lost weight during my first trimester i was certain i was going to be right there next to giselle bundchen and heidi klum – long, lean and a bit of a baby bump. (why it never occurred to me in the first place that I didn’t START OUT looking like them, I’ll never know. maybe that can be blamed on the disillusioned pregnant mind??) i wanted to thrive with this little one in me, to make this a great experience for both me and jed, and to have no lasting repercussions from what would end up being a total body transformation by the time it’s over.

i had spent the first 6.5 years of our marriage gawking at pregnant women and pointing out to jed what i hoped to look like. you know, the kind where you can’t tell from behind and then they turn around with this amazing glow on their face and an adorable baby bump. i’d point out the ones still wearing stilettos and suits, the ones running with their first born in a stroller in front of them, the ones tan and glowing from the inner beauty. i had friends who were that way, and i thought it would be just great to be that way! we would see those documentaries on tv where the women didn’t know they were pregnant until they went into labor because they were so humungous, which would then lead to a 10-minute conversation on “how could you?”

i had spent most of my life coping with the thought of cause and effect in regards to babies, and for some reason the selfish thoughts that dominated my mind for most of my life were focused on the fatty fat part. the horror of being asked how far along you were right after giving birth seemed to be a dungeon that would swallow me whole. i promised myself that the bedside pictures taken with our newly born baby would be professional grade and stellar, automatically adding me to the list of glowers i had so long admired. and then, after two days of sleeping off the whole birthing process, we would emerge with a beautiful newborn and take strolls in the parks and people would say “how do you do it?!”

and now, here we are. i’m 32 weeks along, 24 pounds heavier, nicely padded for comfort, and fatigued enough to somehow win a seat on most trains i ride. (be it the belly or the look on my face, the people i commute with are so kind and almost always offer a seat.) i would definitely not put my frame into the heidi and giselle category, nor have i found the energy yet to accomplish much more than cleaning the house, let alone extra-curricular aerobics. and stiletto’s? nah. i’ve been sticking to two inches or less for quite some time now. if i do glow, it could be from the happiness resulting from having the time of my life, but more than likely it’s because i tend to remain out of breath like a 900-pound wrestler.

but you know what? i couldn’t be more excited! the selfish depression that seemed eminent due to such disillusions and crazinesses of the mind has been graciously taken away, thank God! close to none of the ambitions that i set out with are important to me now, and the focus for both me and jed remains on the gift of life (our little girl) that God has entrusted to us. due to complications, my doctor is planning on delivering our baby girl via cesarean sometime around 37 weeks. we are so excited to meet her! our apartment is slowly getting to the place where going from two to three will be quite natural. just a few more minor revisions and purchases and the fun begins! no one can plan to be this excited. you can’t even hope to be this happy about something. the blessing of pregnancy and the marvel of life is something that continues to awe both of us. we feel direct kindness from God’s hand in this way, and we never want to take it for granted.

ps – please feel free to read this post out loud to me when she’s two weeks old, i haven’t seen a full night’s sleep, the house is upside down, and jed has eaten mcdonald’s for 5 days straight.

a death in the building

2010-02-21T19:33:00.005-05:00

i know. i'm sorry. the dramatic potential of the blog title drew me in. after a phone call to the super and a sniff test, jed said this is worthy of a blog post.

so i obliged. about five days ago i started smelling a bit of an odor in our home, particularly in one specific corner of the bedroom. the next evening when we got home from work, we both smelled it at the front door. na-sty! at that point, though, it was nothing that a little lysol and a wall-flower from bath and body couldn't handle. that night we opened the radiator in our bedroom to see if it just needed to heat up and make the stench go away.

that worked well for the time, but the next morning it was back with a vengeance. since it was obviously coming from the floor in the corner of our bedroom where the radiator is, we decided to call the super in the building and let him know it smelled like dead junk in our apartment. he sniffed it out and felt the same way, needless to say. after checking the vacant apartment below us, he didn't find any corpses, so we're thinking it's in the ceiling/floor in between.

fortunately, i'm guessing it's a small corpse - maybe a small rat/mouse - judging by the lack of intensity in smell. whew!

but make no mistake, it smells bad. very bad. we taped off the openings in the floor, put down towels around the gaps in the radiator pipes, and stuffed dryer sheets around. our plan is to wait out the decomposition process since tearing out the floor isn't a good option.

this is one thing we didn't expect to have to deal with. maybe live bugs and rodents, but not rotting fur. last time i smelled death like this was in africa when a king lizard died in the crawl space above our house in the 110 degree heat. but anyways....i'm just trying not to think about where the stupid rodent was before he died. sick.

more later on whether or not we get the cops involved. i'm not sure how much longer my psycho nose can handle it.

the year we moved

2010-02-17T15:10:00.003-05:00

this past sunday, valentine’s day, we celebrated one year of being in new york! one year ago, we quit our jobs, packed our duplex, ate all the el mocajete one could handle, said goodbye, and moved to brooklyn, ny. at that point, our expectations were quite unmanaged as we hoped/believed we would live with friends ‘til the end of february, find an apartment upon finding jobs just in time to move in march 1st. and then, we’d just go about our merry little urban lives, starting the process of finding a church to help while we got settled. march 1st came and went. april 1st came and went. our official job title became “restless” and our lease read “vagabond.” we had a few bites on our resumes here and there, but no solid promises from recruiters or interviews. for housing, we rotated between friends, family, and an available apartment space at a church in the east village. our goal was to have at least one of us employed before we looked for a place. finally, mid-april, i got a job offer and started on april 27th!

after a weekend of scouring craigslist and nyt.com, we decided on what was important to us and what we could afford and quickly scheduled a day of hunting with a realtor. apartment #1 couldn’t have housed a gnome. apartment #2 had a problem with sinking floors that made one slightly seasick. and apartment #3 was just plain ugly and ugly. apartment #4 was probably not going to work because when we called to schedule an appointment, the guy told us that the one we wanted to see had already been let, but that he had another one in the building that might work for us. we were, by then, learning to manage our expectations, so our hopes were slightly below average. it was under construction still, but upon seeing the space we could 100% envision our home to be apartment #4, hands down. It’s turned out to be the best apartment ever! after spending almost 9 months in the hood, we have grown to see our little place as a haven and comfort amidst the bustling of city life. God’s goodness in this blessing to us is incredibly undeserved!

for the first few weeks in our new place, jed worked tirelessly to make everything just perfect. he installed cabinet handles (never again), towel racks, blinds/shades, curtain rods, touched up some paint, unpacked, organized, ran errands to home depot, bed bath and beyond, and ikea, worked with the contractor to finish off a few details, and continually looked for a job. after almost a month of a non-stop to-do list, everything finally got checked off. that left an amazing home for us, but a guy still looking for a job. in july, after being in survival mode for several months, we both were excited about a job offer jed got with devry, a proprietary school with an open admissions position. since this was where his experience was and since the pay was quite comfortable, we were ecstatic! however, after six weeks of dealing with very long and late hours, some weekend work, and an unbearably psycho boss, we were both growing tired.

out of the blue one day in september, a recruiter emailed jed a job description for a position she thought matched his resume. it was in customer service, but the pay, benefits, and hours were significantly younger and better looking than the old hag of a job he had gotten used to. we figured an interview wouldn’t hurt, so jed rushed together a cover letter and updated resume and scheduled an interview. within a week of that email, he had a job offer! the relief of knowing that the days of devoting late evenings and some weekends to a job were soon over was wonderful! one of the particularly distasteful characteristics of his job at devry was the frustration of not having any time to give to a ministry. being in survival mode taught us much, and one prominent thing we came out of that time with was an intensified desire to be involved in a local church.

jed started his new job in early october, and he quickly impressed all of his co-workers and management by catching on so easily and being a stable, kind employee. they really love him there, which makes it much easier for him to appreciate his job. we are both so thankful for the low-stress jobs that God has given to us. we’re able to focus more on life outside of work rather than bear the frustration of difficult employment. he’s so kind!

one other major milestone of the last year was finding out about an eventual addition to our family. in fact, jed got his “good” job offer less than 24 hours after we found out about the baby, which made our hearts completely overwhelmed again of God’s undeserved kindness to us. in mid-january, we found out that we’re having a girl. she’ll join us sometime around the end of may - we know our lives are forever changed. we’re pretty excited about introducing a little one to the city we’ve grown to love so much.

back in november, an opportunity opened up for us to become involved in the church that was kind enough to house us during our vagabond stage. tompkins square gospel fellowship is a small church in the east village, and they were eager and kind enough to welcome any help that we could offer. jed leads the worship, i (try to) play the piano for the service, and we both are looking forward to becoming more involved as we get our heels dug in further. the pastor and people of this church have grown to be our family, and we love each lesson that God is teaching us through being in a smaller church.

writing this post reminds me all over again how much we’ve grown to love the city and love our new life here. of course, life is different and sometimes full of ups and downs, but the overall feeling we get of waking up each day knowing that we are where we’re supposed to be because he is taking care of us is so comforting. words can’t describe how thankful we are for the love and sovereignty of our God! the year we moved was truly a great year!

life is good

2010-01-22T16:23:00.003-05:00

the time that has elapsed between the sensory overload called the first trimester and the current honeymoon phase of the second trimester has been full, busy, and fun. life is good.

not just because there’s a little girl that has stolen our hearts and amazed us with her prenatal soccer skills, but because we are settled. well, i should say “settling.” are we truly ever settled? life is good like that – never a dull moment. though we get worn out, complain about subtle discomforts, or grow impatient with circumstances, life continues for each of us, growing our soul through both pain and pleasure so that we can handle the next phase. without that happy medium of both pain and pleasure, would we truly appreciate the next day without the previous day’s experiences? with our kind God’s grace, the growth opportunities are so refreshing and exciting and illuminating!

since the beginning of december, our days have been highlighted by getting used to an urban, northern winter. man it feels good! it’s like living in a vintage painting or something – whistling radiators, waking up to the sound of a metal shovel on the sidewalk, dirty dirty streets, every winter accessory you can wear, etc. when the outside is so despairingly cold and the inside is so warm and cozy, a perfect winter ensues. if only we could guarantee a snow storm every weekend or at least a soup chef in our house!

another rewarding aspect of our winter has been the ministry God has opened up for as at a church in the east village – tompkins square gospel fellowship. the pastor, his family, and the people there have been such an encouragement and help to us as we’ve been dunked into learning more about the rigors and lessons of ministry. as we take just one day at a time, we’re thankful for the family God has given us there!

i could write everyday on the funny happenstances on what goes on when you’re pregnant; jed could write a short comedy about his co-workers; and our neighbors could more than likely fill columns about all the traffic we’ve been getting in our little brooklyn home; but we’ll spare you the details and just suffice it to say that God is good, and life is good.

my life as captain supernose

2009-11-05T10:12:00.003-05:00

WARNING: this blog post may be explicit and potentially harmful for pregnant women to read

as a pregnant woman in an urban, highly populated environment, i have taken it upon myself to offer a suggestion to you inventors, patent-earners, and entrepreneurs out there. you can steal it fair and square, and i promise you it will be worth the steal. i won’t even request royalties.

here is my idea: stick-on nasal fresheners. ta da!

no, these fresheners are not for other people to smell you. they are for the sole purpose of aiding pregnant women in their march against nausea. and believe me, at times it is a fight for life.

you see, an urban mother-to-be starts every day with the daunting task of hiding a secret: the secret that everyone you come into contact with smells bad (except for jed or the occasional man on the train wearing curve – bless his soul). everything you pass by carries a distinct odor! no longer does the cigarette smoke from a chain smoker provide a welcome deviation from the typical body odor that can be sniffed, they are both equally repugnant and puke inducing.

one of my biggest fears is ralphing while i’m on the train. not only would i deeply offend every person on that train, but i believe a chain reaction would for sure ensue (think “cheaper by the dozen” levels). my solution has been to carry a plastic target bag in my purse, ready to whip out in a moment’s notice should the urge arise. fortunately, this has not happened yet, but i’ve come dangerously close. i’ve already figured out what i would say should such an event occur: “don’t worry, i’m just pregnant. i don’t have swine flu.” then everyone could breathe easy and even offer a little sympathy should they be so inclined.

back to the invention. hopefully by now you understand the necessity of such an invention. my vision is to have several different flavors on one set – kinda like stick-on earrings. maybe 28 pairs on a card, organized by smell or color. a variety pack is the only way to go in this situation due to the adhd nature of a pregnant woman’s tastes. (i can eat a bite of something because it’s what I HAVE TO HAVE at the moment, and by the time i’m done chewing it’s all i can do to swallow without gagging!) if you love the fresh smell of strawberries, put a strawberry sniffer in your nose while you cook. if you take a fancy to the smell of windex, put a windex sniffer in your nose for your commute. the possibilities are endliess!

no longer would i have to rely on a layer of vick’s vapo rub coating my nostrils in order for the dishes to get done. my gag reflex would get a break from the overtime shifts it’s been pulling, and jed would have freedom to open the fridge door whether i was in the apartment or not. can you imagine the worldwide success of nasal fresheners?!

i now hand over the baton. make it your duty to help the pregnant women of society. take the idea and run with it! it’s all yours.

ps: in case you haven't heard, jed and i are expecting a baby may 27th and we're very very happy!

A Story by Jed

2009-09-25T12:49:00.008-04:00

Yes. It's me. Jed. I'm finally writing an entry. For all of you Amy fans out there, I apologize if you're disappointed that this is not an entry written by her, but please read it anyway. I'll attempt not to bore you. I just couldn't help but be the writer of this entry.

Once again, God has proven Himself ever faithful at the perfect moment. We were floored by God's provision not a day late (particularly from a health insurance perspective) when He provided Amy her job back in May. Well, God did it again! Why am I surprised? I shouldn't be. But that seems to be the status quo for a sinner always in need of a Savior and in need of Holy-Spirit-given faith to believe in that Savior of mine. So here's the scoop of God's most recent out-of-nowhere provision for us.

Where do I even begin? Well, I’ll begin Tuesday, September 8. After a long, late, stressful (stressful in many ways upon which I will not elaborate in order to protect the identity of those who made it thus) day at the office, I got on the subway for my commute home. My stomach was in knots, my back was killing me, I was in atrial fib, my eyelid was twitching, and I knew something had to give, but I didn’t see a way out. I arrived home about 8:45pm, Amy was so lovingly preparing dinner at such a late hour, and I broke down in tears. Here we had spent 6.5 years of our lives in seminary, we had moved to NYC to be more involved in church ministry, and my sales job was turning out to be my life. I had very little family or church life, just work, work, work, sales, sales, sales, whatever it took to get the next student. I cried out to God that evening. I knew we needed the money I was making, but I also realized I only have one life to live, and every day that went by was another day less that I had to live (thank you, John Madden). That night, Amy gave a good old-fashioned spiritual pep talk to me (I definitely had an intense “woe is me” Jonah syndrome at the time), I tried snapping out of it, and I went to work the next day trying to trust God that He had led us to this valley and would lead us through and out of the valley at the appropriate time. I also knew that God would not give me more than I could handle. If I had this job, then that meant that God knew I could handle it for the time being.

Let’s jump two days (only two days) later to Thursday, September 10. I was mentally digging my feet into the ground for the long haul at my current job. If nothing else, I knew that God had given me this NYC sales job to help me fulfill one of our desires in moving to NYC (i.e., understanding the life [and trials therein] of a person working in the cut throat NYC corporate culture). Midday on that Thursday, I looked in our gmail account as I often do, and out of the blue, there was an email in my inbox from a permanent hire job recruiter I hadn't had contact with in 4 months. And unless you don't understand how odd this was, I hadn't sent my resume to anyone since I began my current job 2 months ago! And, until I received this email, I also hadn't heard from any companies in those 2 months either. In the email, the recruiter presented me with a potential job opportunity that was more amazing than any other job opportunity that any recruiter had ever come close to presenting to Amy or me. And let me tell you, Amy and I (especially Amy though) had been given the run around from a bunch of "helpful" recruiters. This particular job opportunity presented me with suitable pay, full-time 35 hours per week, daytime weekday hours, the best health benefits on the market (even better than Amy’s current health benefits), 16 vacation days, 4.5 personal days, and 12 sick days per year, plus holidays. I told her I’d definitely like more details, and she got me an interview with the company on Tuesday, September 15. I interviewed that morning, and had no idea what they thought about me coming out of the interview (especially because I was with my current company for under 2 months). It was then a waiting game. God caused the children of Israel to wander in the wilderness for 40 years. How long was I going to have to wander, I thought? I would go from getting my hopes up to trying to keep my hopes in check so as to not have a “hope deferred” situation on our hands. This past Friday afternoon I got a call from the recruiter. She said the company really liked me, and 30 minutes later I had the job offer. I immediately accepted, gave my 2-week notice at my current job this past Saturday, and I’ll be working here through the end of today. I’ll then begin at my new job October 5, and I'll have many, many more hours per week to devote to family and church. Wow! And for those of you out there who are curious, I will be working in Manhattan 2 blocks from Penn Station. My title will be Benefits Rep for a company called the Committee of Interns and Residents (i.e., medical doctor interns and residents).

Just another NYC situation that has grown me/us and shown us that God is going before us and has been since we moved February 14. Tears of pleading changed to tears of joy! I had the opportunity to preach at a church out on Long Island this past Sunday. I preached from the Book of Habakkuk (great study), and in that sermon, I read the following William Cowper hymn (wish I had the worship leader talent like Bob Kaughlin so we could've sung this, but oh well):

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.
Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy and will break
In blessings on your head.
Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flower.
Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan His work in vain;
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

The words of this poem have been the happenings of our lives since we moved here on Valentine's Day 2009. God is so good to us, even when we can't always make sense of what His good Hand is working in and through us!

sidewalks of brooklyn

2009-09-03T18:50:00.026-04:00

the sidewalks here continually intrigue me, so tonight on my grocery run (jed works late) i decided to bring along my little olympus and tell you about it. maybe you'll find the hilarity in it all as well.

first of all, let me just tell you about the dangerous unevenness of the sidewalks. many times have i gone propelling forward in what could've been a fatal trip, thanks to my tendency to watch the sky, not the ground. some would blame distracted concrete pourers, while others would blame the weather. i blame it on the preservation of just one more attribute that i love about the city: it's quirkiness.

here we have a sure-fire way to stub your toe in sandals.

next, a stroller's nightmare.

at times, walking down the street is like eating popcorn out of those huge, variety pack, christmas tins. three flavors available - the first two are nice but the third tastes like tin.

as i mentioned before, you'll end up in an underground storage unit if you're not careful. caution signs are so early 90's, man.

i almost died of fright one time walking in heels across one of these subway grates. i thought i was tip toeing but i wasn't tipping enough, and the only thought in my mind for a millisecond was "she's going down people."

once in a blue moon, you'll come across a 21st century wonder - pavement. call me crazy, but it's boring, flat, straight, and clean from lack of wear. pppshhht.

there is one thing about the sidewalks here that jed and i can't seem to figure out. see those black dots? this is a shot of a very young and pale piece of sidewalk that hasn't yet been around the block, mind you, but it's still pretty full of black dots, right? well i say it's careless tar workers. jed (with the more likely possibility) says it's decades of gum users. the black dots are ev-er-y-where. seriously. i guess it's impossible to have that many careless tar workers, but on the flip side jed has a chip on his shoulder against people who spit out their gum on the sidewalk as a gift for your shoe.

no matter the story, it's a distinct sidewalk character here.

and you know, it's so funny to me sometimes that this

can be next to this.

who plans this?

but alas. at the end of the day, our sidewalks are merely foundational stories describing the people who pound them.

we just happen to think its a privilege to read those stories.

one more thing.

does anyone need a bed frame?

let the games begin

2009-08-28T09:27:00.003-04:00

flat screen tv in possession (jed's well-earned "mancheivement"), slight hints of fall already in the air (yay for the north!), and the newest member of the eagles' family recently welcomed to the flock. as espn so nicely put it, a "new eagle has landed."

our jerseys are clean, we've been practicing the fight song, and every press conference has been analyzed. it's going to be a good season. possibly the season. only first downs will tell. what do we have to lose? nothing. what do we have to cheer for? philadelphia history, familial and brotherly love, the most riveting sport of all time.

all we can say is:

GO EAGLES!

"normal"

2009-08-13T19:40:00.014-04:00

normal is so relative, subjective, original, abstract, illusory, all of the above. it can change at the dawn of every day, and even throughout the day. it's one thing that i, as a somewhat letter-of-the-law person on the inside, am okay with being fluid in the area of "normalcy." i'm okay with the fact that one person's pink hair can be a completely normal thing after last month's purple shade, but for another person, only brown can satisfy them. one person can think it's okay to sleep in the day and use the night as a work day, others shun the thought of seeing the sun rise. some couples are double-income-no-kids families, and some couples are more flexible in their definition of income, living from show to show or job to job.

jed and i have recently achieved (by God's kind grace) a state of "normal" life, albeit somewhat temporary. (and when i say temporary i do speak in the term of years. i just had to say temporary for the people out there who plan in ten year segments.) it's kinda weird to be here because we've only thought about it for so long, but yes, we're here.

we both have jobs, and we live in the city we love. it's a wonderful normal for us. we're so thankful for jed's job. he's finishing two weeks tomorrow at devry college of new york as an educational advisor in the undergraduate admissions office, and monday he leaves for a week-long training session in chicago. (side note: if you want to come to the city and keep me company, you're more than welcome!!!) it's such a great job for his background, our intentions for the future, his desire to have a job that works with people, and even the field that he's intended to work in. how good God is to give him a job that is a "first choice" job and not a "settle for" job. we're amazed!

consequently, this called for celebration. (you may think we look for a good excuse to celebrate, and if you do - you're right.) we decided an afternoon in brighton beach would be the choice for this particular celebration, and wow did it end up being fun! we started out at the beach right as the sun and heat had calmed down a bit, followed it up with a delectable and fantastic russian meal at a restaurant we found on yelp called cafe glechik, enjoyed a nice time watching the moon over the ocean, and then ate skittles on the train ride home. when we celebrate, we include the commute because it's usually a good part of the trip. below are some pictures from our most recent celebrations (walk in the rain to a newly found mexican restaurant, pics of li'l russia)

the mindset formerly known as "inflexible"

2009-07-25T11:57:00.009-04:00

at least i hope to undergo a permanent change into the "flexible" world. i read last week that being inflexible is a sign of pride because it's a demonstration of our need to control circumstances and situations, assuming that our way is indeed the best way. the funny part is i've always said "oh, i'm flexible" or "sure, whatever you think" and "i really don't have a preference." but who are we kidding? when i said those things it was more or less in the understood parameters of a certain situation, not a wide open, literal, true-by-definition flexibility. if put in a crowd of i-don't-have-a-preference people, i can easily persuade them all to have my preference. sometimes that's good (when running for a public office or following some views of parenting), but it's been something i've been pondering as of late.

maybe it's because we were vagabonds for 93 days (or was it 97?), or maybe it's because our name tags have said "hi, my name is floater" since february of this year, or maybe it's even because i'm learning that i'm not inherently entitled to a 9-5 job ("sure, my hours are flexible. what time should i come in?"), but today is a big think-it-through day. actually, the last two weeks have been big thinker weeks. it's a good thing to re-evaluate, reminisce, plan, meditate, ponder, etc. it keeps life real; it makes you aware of why you're here; and it reminds you what you're supposed to do each day.

thinking it through has meant several things for me: the fresh wound of learning true humility over and over again, breaking every single inflexible bone in my body until i'm as flexible as gumbi, remembering that happiness and joy are dead if i look for it in my circumstances, and keeping in front of my mind the love that Jesus has for me and jed. in this way, life is amazing. one part of me hates those days where tears are fresh, i feel like a wimp, and my head is a whirling chat room. but the other part of me is addicted to those kinds of days because the reality that can come from those days, by God's grace, is a fresh and fabulous reality.

thankfully, for jed's sanity and for my sanity, they don't come regularly. but when they do, i wake up to a clearer understanding of this whole big picture and man that's awesome!

summertime!

2009-07-12T15:37:00.021-04:00

summertime in brooklyn is the best in the whole world! (except maybe the beach on a really warm day, but fortunately we haven't had but a handful of really warm days in the last 2 months) there's just not much wrong with this city as far as livin' life here goes. i know it's the same 'ol story, but we do just love it here. in the last month we've had three sets of visitors (jed's brother joe, jed's sister mel and her family, and my sister abi), made several trips to the donut shop, enjoyed fireworks on the manhattan skyline, jed has had surgery on his right knee, and we've only used our air conditioner for about 5 nights. quite a successful month!

our time hasn't been without struggle, however. amongst other trials, God has, in his wisdom, not yet given jed a job. we both wrestle with this problem in different ways, but it's a burden on both of our hearts. our minds vascillate between understanding that God is completely wise and sovereign and we have only to learn patience and endurance, to really growing impatient and discontent with the circumstance we're in. in his goodness, God is allowing us to still pay for our bills each month due to my blessing of a job, so we really have no immediate worry. life is best if tackled one day at a time, and we pray for grace to be able to do that!

here's a smattering of pics from the last month.

trip to the park

a house full of guests!

with my sister abi

jed folding laundry even in his post-surgery state

our favorite place in the city

brooklynites

2009-06-09T09:24:00.022-04:00

it's been three weeks now that we've lived in our new home and we could not be more happy to finally be brooklynites! we're so close to a subway stop, we have a great street & neighborhood, and God has given us an apartment even a step up from our greenville apartment - we're so thankful! i continue to enjoy my job at polytechnic institute of nyu as the admissions office receptionist. though my job is entry level, the interaction with incoming students is something i enjoy very much! we've seen God's provision in a big and direct way through this job with the benefits, hours, and pay - God is good! it took two weeks of trying to get our home put together until we felt like our lives wouldn't always consist of unpacking. new york apartments are an adventure in and of themselves, with the uneven floors, aging buildings, and unprofessional contract work. i thought jed was going to have an aneurysm trying to get our bed level; but alas, after more than 10 cardboard squares and much measuring, we now have a level bed. no more high blood pressure because our feet are higher than our heads. we are storing all of our broken down boxes for jed's parents to use, so other than cramming them here and there, the apartment is 98% guest ready.

on so many levels we see God working and doing things so differently than what we would've originally thought. we were hoping jed would get a job first and then i would fill in with a part-time job, but now we see that it's actually been somewhat of a blessing that jed is still unemployed. he has established a new network of doctors here in new york, and because of poly's insanely good insurance benefits, he has been able to tap into an extremely skilled and prestigious network of doctors. after getting under the care of a chiropractor and also fulfilling the prescribed physical therapy rehab from his surgery back in january (better late than never!), he is seeing much more consistency with his back. one area where he has had significant pain for several months has been with his knee. back in august 2008, he had acl reconstruction and meniscus repair work done, but the pain on the site of the meniscus tear has continued to give him trouble, even worse after surgery than before. after meeting with an orthopedic surgeon (the chief orthopedic surgeon at Tisch Hospital - NYU Medical Center) and getting a fresh mri done, we found out that he has a radial tear in his meniscus. unfortunately this type of meniscus tear does not do well without arthroscopic surgery, so jed is scheduled to go in on june 30th. the great thing in all of this is that this surgery is MUCH less invasive (walk with a cane for the first 24-48 hours as needed and then at least 6 weeks of physical therapy) and free! our insurance is completely covering every penny of this surgery!

we've wondered many times why God would allow jed to go through many phases of interviews and remain the runner-up in several different opportunities that he would've been perfect for, but now we're seeing more and more that it's actually convenient that jed doesn't have a job right now. he is still fervently looking in between doctor's appointments, but the opportunities are still less than what we would've expected. somehow, we just have to say okay and wait to see what happens in God's plan. though our situation right now is so backwards and upside down from what our little plan had laid out for us, we find so much peace and comfort knowing that we can trust a God who is planning this perfectly. we want to continue taking it one day at a time and learn to enjoy this phase in our lives. we love being in brooklyn! though we're "in transition" still and enjoying every adventure the city offers, God continues to burden our hearts even more for the people here in new york. we just want to be a part of building his kingdom here.

as several people have requested, here are some pictures of our home. please disregard the aforementioned piles of empty boxes and corners full of junk that will not be sticking around. the invitation remains open for anyone to come visit!

office

bedroom

living room

kitchen

moving day!

next stop, 267 clifton place

2009-05-09T22:07:00.006-04:00

today is day number 85 of our adventure. the last two weeks have been good times of adjustment and learning. it's still awesome to us how God is showing us in big and little ways that he's taking care of us. on day 78, we vagabonded once again to our fourth temporary place of abode. it's in a mission house with some friends of ours in the east village. it's fun living on the 5th floor in manhattan! there's much more noise outside our windows because of the constant traffic and excitement in the city that never sleeps, and the quaintness of the east village with all of its mini-gardens and bicycles has been entertaining and enjoyable. the only negative is living on the fifth floor. i don't care if you're richard simmons or not, walking up that many stairs with a 17.5 pound watermelon is not easy. add to that a gallon of milk and you're done.

friday ended the first two weeks of work for me at polytechnic institute of nyu. the entire package of working there continues to floor me. the benefits are crazy good, i'm already somewhat familiar with the very basics of this type of job, i get to work in downtown brooklyn, and it's in an exciting educational field! i still haven't mastered how i plan on spending my commute, though. i'm still new enough that i continue to be endlessly entertained by all that goes on in the city during rush hour. and by the way, don't ever tell me new yorkers aren't friendly. i've seen many people pry a closing subway door off of a stranger so their arm/leg/head wouldn't get caught.

jed has been workin hard at getting our addresses updated everywhere, switching to a new bank up here, transferring our medical records and getting new doctors up here, and also still looking for a job. this past thursday, he was able to get in with our new primary care. we weren't sure if the doctor would refer jed to all of the different doctors that he sees for his back, etc., but he did and jed already has 3 appointments set up for next week with some of the best doctors in the nation! with our insurance, we were able to tap into the nyu doctor system, and so far we're impressed. this was a burden on our hearts, and God has smoothed the wrinkles in what could be a very bumpy situation.

next milestone is day 93. if everything can go as planned, we’ll actually move into our new home on may 17th. with the way the timing worked out with jed's parents to get the truck, pack it, and drive it up, we're moving in sunday morning and we can't wait! not only will it be a symbol of stability in our lives, but we'll finally be able to host our friends and family that come up to see us (*hint*hint* you know who you are). we're looking forward to seeing everyone then.

ninety-three days of instability has taught us a lot - the biggest lesson being how gracious God is. in our times of recklessness, he has been our comfort; in seeing our weak and unable hearts, we have seen him strong and secure; in facing the unending unknown, we have come to know him as trustworthy and loving. our continual prayer is that somehow we will be able to be effective tellers of Christ to other people who are around us and watching or experiencing this with us.

with the people who have been praying for us and keeping up with us via phone and email, the guys who are volunteering to pack our truck for us (once back in april to move it into storage and then another time on may 14th to pack our truck), the people here in new york who have been letting us sleep in their apartments and eat their food and play their rook, and also jed’s sister and her family in pennsylvania who have taken us in for weeks at a time, we have been the recipients of so much. it’s incredibly awesome to see how God uses people to be a blessing to other people! we only hope that someday we can pass on that help to other people who will need it.

almost there

2009-04-25T10:07:00.032-04:00

it's confirmed. i'm officially one of those bloggers that binge blogs every once in a blue moon. for awhile, there wasn't anything new so i was secretly waiting 'til something bigger happened. little did i know that everything was going to happen all at once!

on wednesday, april 15th, i had an interview with an insurance company in midtown that i was less than excited about. i was still holding out for all the red tape at polytechnic to get taken care of, so i hadn't taken my recruiters off the hunt yet. one of them got me this interview so i figured i should go with it. i interviewed on wednesday at 3pm and had an offer the next day by 3pm. it was ridiculously fast and high-pressured, which was strange and uncomfortable. i told them i needed by five at least to think about it, and my recruiter said that should be fine. i called up my would-be boss at polytechnic and showed her my cards and explained the situation to her. i asked her where they were at in the process with the hiring and she said that they were very close, but there was just one more step. the provost's signature. still without a solid offer or an answer, i called back my recruiter to let her know that i would need until tuesday to think about the job offer and look into the company some more and talk it over with my husband. that whole weekend jed and i prayed that we would get a call before tuesday from poly with a job offer so i could confidently turn this other junk job down.

on monday, april 20th, my boss at poly called to let me know that my job offer was in the mail! she wanted me to start on monday, april 27th! after much celebration and many phone calls, jed and i made plans to head back to the city on wednesday to do the apartment hunt. (note: we had spent the weekend babysitting four of our nieces and nephews in pa, entertaining them with such frivolities as bonfires and ice cream and hide and go seek in a pitch black house. only one kid cried!) jed had lined up for us to see five apartments on wednesday, so we took the early bus in on wednesday morning and hit the streets with the goal in mind of making a move on the may 1st weekend.

after the first three apartments, we weren't sure if we were going to need to settle for less than best, because after all it is new york. place number 1 had two bathrooms and two bedrooms, but the bedrooms wouldn't have been able to house an ant farm. place number 2 was nicer, but the floor in the corner of the living room went up like a pinball machine. we would've had to level our couches with phone books. place number three was similar to number 2, but no pinball affect. the hardwood floors just rippled near the kitchen sink.

then there was place number 4. awhile back, jed and i had walked through clinton hill and scouted out the area for the supermarket and hang out places, and tried to get a feel for the best area to live in the clinton hill neighborhood. one street we pined over because of the beautiful stoops and cosby-like brownstones was clifton place. if we could live on clifton place, we'd be somewhat central to where we needed to be and we would be in a safe neighborhood with a nice tree-lined street. well, place number 4 was on clifton place. it's a 16-unit building from what we can tell with four floors and pretty (but extremely worn) marble stairs. jed called the guy on tuesday about seeing a place he saw on craigslist, but that apartment had already been rented. "but," said the dude, "i do have another one in the building that i can let you see. plus, i'll offer you one month of free rent if you want to see it." so of course, we added that to our list. the reason this one hadn't gone yet was because the reno wasn't even close to being finished. we walked in and the contractor was there with a worker and we literally stepped over ladders and paint cans to view the place. but goodness, it was gorgeous! and exactly what we had been praying for.

it has a wonderful garden tub that would be perfect for jed to soak his back in, a nice master bedroom, plus a great living area that could house lots of people, host a good-sized bible study, or bunk family and friends. there's also a smaller second bedroom that for now, will be more of an office for jed, but could also be a future bedroom. the bonus is that the kitchen has about 5 times the counter space and storage i ever had in greenville. (if you visited our little greenville place, you'll realize that's not much, but still!!) we are very thankful and excited. as we walked through the apartment, the contractor told us we could let him know if there were any small changes we wanted and he would see if he could accommodate. out of that, we're getting a few light switches moved, a cabinet sink instead of a pedestal sink in the bathroom, and a ceiling fan in the living room!

we put money down on it wednesday afternoon because anyone who's anyone in new york has always told us to snatch it up if we like it. thanks to the bad economy, we got a month of free rent, no broker's fee, reno accommodations, AND we will be paying about $300 less per month than the people across the hall for a way nicer place. we got the deal of a lifetime - God is so good!

after measuring and revisiting our new home, we've made a list of things that will have to stay in south carolina. one of them is our circular dining room table that we loved so much. we did find a good home for it, but we needed a cheap replacement so today seemed like a good ikea day. we took the bus down and it was a beautiful ride! the more we're here, the more we love brooklyn. it's a wonderful home. before we left for ikea, we looked online and saw a couple of tables that we wanted to check out at the store. one of them was way way way out of our price range ($349 to be exact) but it was seemingly perfect for the space we're trying to fill but also versatile for seating about 8-10 people. when we got to the store, we went through the showroom and saw the table we loved but weren't planning on buying. until we saw the price tag. as we walked up to the table, we saw a red slash through the $349 with a $99 sign right above that. immediately, we asked an ikea worker if that was right, and she confirmed it was. holy cow. apparently, ikea chooses three items every week to go on a major sale. this week, it was our table and today was the last day. wow! we had to catch a cab home with it since there was no way i was going to be able to lift a 92 lb. box up and down subway stairs plus carry it on the walk home from the stop.

so my first day at work is on monday, and we're both so incredibly thankful for a great job opportunity for me! oh, one other miracle. we had 63 days before we had to pay for our cobra insurance so we would have continuous coverage, and monday happens to be day 60. usually, there is a waiting period before benefits kick in, but when i talked to the hr guy at poly, he informed me that benefits commence the first day of employment! how awesome is our God!! jed is still on the hunt with one particular lead that we're hoping will go through, but we're learning that with higher education, it takes forever. my opportunity was a fluke to happen this "fast." but now that insurance is kicking in sooner rather than later, jed will be spending time in the next few days finding good doctors here in new york.

the last couple months have felt like a series of "frowning providences" where we knew that God was there and taking care of us, but we often questioned exactly what was going on, what our place was in the whole thing, and what exactly we were supposed to be learning. i don't know if we have any more exact answers to those questions except that we know that we're doing today what we're supposed to be doing, but we sense an overwhelming presence of God's kind hand on our shoulders these last few days and we are amazed at how the details are falling into place. by God's grace and with the help of his Spirit, we are enduring, and that endurance is causing much joy to be known in seeing more and more provisions of his love.

i realize this is incredibly long, but i couldn't leave any detail out in what God is doing to further his kingdom here and in our hearts. below are some shots of the new apartment (still under construction). we truly hope you will be able to know God better and understand his love more by reading what he is doing here in brooklyn in small and big ways.

our street, clifton place

neighbors across the street

standing in our room looking out into the living room

standing in our kitchen looking into the office (2nd bedroom)

note to self

2009-04-06T21:30:00.008-04:00

this might be a bit of an open post because i'm taking a slightly different approach. i am too lazy to keep a beautiful, leather-bound, recycled paper-filled, handwritten journal, so this whole blogging deal sometimes serves the purpose of what a journal would be. except for the "available to the whole world" thing.

since i last wrote, not much has changed. rephrase: not much with our circumstances has changed. we are both still unemployed and of the vagabond persuasion, but we're really hoping that this week will be the week. i interviewed at polytechnic for the second round of interviews on march 31st, and it went really well. i was told i would hear by the end of the week last week, but i still haven't heard anything so i'm going to give them 'til mid-morning tomorrow and then i'll give them a courtesy call. jed is still patiently waiting to hear back from berkeley college where he interviewed and was very well received by the staff he interviewed with. we're very aware of how slow the process tends to move in the educational environment, so in one sense we feel somewhat thankful that we both got through the interview process decidedly quickly comparatively speaking. one of the people that i interviewed with at poly told me that when she was hired on, it took her three interviews that were strung out from august 'til november before she was hired in december. fortunately, the positions i've interviewed for (both at poly) are empty positions that they'd like to fill "quickly."

we missed the april 1st deadline for an apartment, but occasionally there are still nice apartments available on the 15th of the month, too. should we hear back from either of the positions we're waiting on, we'll do the apartment hunt right away and see what's available for middle of the month. if we don't find one for the middle of the month, we'll wait 'til may 1st. what's another 15 days, i ask you?!

so, after that explanation, though we're progressing bit by bit, our circumstances have not exactly changed. but let me tell you, i really think we have changed. neither of us have gotten tattoos or pink hair in honor of new york culture, but the refinement of our reactions and the continual struggle of our hearts are things that i really pray will be with us forever. the things we've talked through and are learning are heavy things that we haven't faced in our young lives yet. but it's good! after enduring a day where tears felt way too fresh, i can't believe i'm saying that it's good, but i really think it is good. these trials have been instigators to conversations we might not ever have had, struggles we might not ever have felt, and lessons we might not ever have learned. because let's face it, who in their right mind would voluntarily go homeless and unemployed in this economy? if we would've known how crazy it would've been we might've waited a little longer. but we didn't, and it's been great! i probably sound sadistic, but i'm serious. and let it be put on the record, i will never ever again take for granted my silly earthly belongings. they are gifts from God, but they're sitting in storage in south carolina 'til further notice (see above paragraph).

i really thank God for this time. i won't lie to you and say i wake up every morning saying that, but in all the clarity God is giving me at this late hour of the night, i really mean it. we're very privileged to be able to learn and even suffer because it's through these sufferings that God gives us endurance, and through that endurance we build character, which in the end, after having seen the promises of God fulfilled, we possess a Spirit-given hope that cannot be shaken. i love that promise.

an open mind and a calm heart

2009-03-27T23:05:00.013-04:00

i don't know why i titled this blog posting what i did because my mind has been purportedly closed and my heart has had its most riotous moments in the last six days. however, my true desire is to have an open mind to what God may have for us tomorrow, and calm heart that trusts him in whatever he is doing.

with our interviews last thursday, jed and i both entered the weekend with extreme hope and excitement that our transition time might soon be ending. i'm sure that it will end at some point in time; however, the last few days have not gone how we were expecting them to go. the waiting game is not for the faint of heart as i have mentioned before, and i felt more than anything my affinity for faintness this last week. as jed and i talk and pray through this, the silly solutions that my immaturity comes up with continues to amaze me. here is my list of what would solve my restlessness (excluding the obvious job and home thing):

- a pedicure
- shopping spree for our new apartment
- shopping spree for new wardrobe for new (impending) job
- a massage
- an interior decorating project
- endless pastries or cheesecake
- catered meals everyday
- a pug

and the list goes on. fortunately, my sane alter-ego kicks in way before i ever get close to any of these, and should she ever fail me the issue of not generating any income would for sure stand in the way of the ones that should cost any amount of money. i'm sure jed's list is way simpler than mine. i would guess it would look more like this: endless pastries, a job, and a new apartment in God's timing. he's focused like that. although, were it football season i would be inclined to add "a super bowl stint for the eagles," but that's another story...

i got a call back yesterday (thursday) to come back in for a second interview at polytechnic institute of nyu on tuesday of this week, and i am so thankful for continued movement with that possibility! jed has not received the offer that seemed all but promised to him at his last interview, but he did get an email from the hiring personnel that said they are still interviewing candidates and that they would get with him in due time. apparently none of these people realize that we're hangin' on a thread, hoping to get an apartment by april 1st! we had kinda set a deadline for ourselves that if jed didn't hear about an offer today, then it would more than likely be either the middle of the month or even may 1st before we could look again.

there are several questions in our minds right now with our current situation. we need wisdom and help from God in knowing what he would have us to do.

- should we store our belongings in sc or continue to pay monthly rent?
- when should we start looking for an apartment?
- how can we be the most useful as we continue to remain in transition?
- how can we glorify God the most?

we want to remain solid in our faith and confident in our God, so our most ardent prayer right now is to know God and love him and others while taking one day at a time. in the meantime, we still love the city and are thankful everyday for our friends and family who are putting up with us. God has given much richness in his word and through prayer, we just need moldable hearts to be open to that wealth.

above is a shot from jed's birthday last month. we ended up going into manhattan for an evening of shopping, turkish food (yum!!), cupcakes, and a slurpee. fun times in the city.

thanks everyone for your love and support with us while we're going through this adventure! it's a fun ride made even more exciting with each of your comments and prayers.

date night

2009-03-21T20:34:00.017-04:00

after a few weeks of going through the job hunt, jed and i took time tonight to have a date night and explore a bit. we'd been in the neighborhood right above williamsburg a couple times before and had liked the predominately polish area, so we decided to visit tonight for some real polish food and culture. we were definitely not disappointed!

jed's heritage is a mixture of russian and polish decent, so we were both quite intrigued with the people and places lining the streets. the restaurant we'd been recommended to was called "polonia," which after eating there we decided means "little heaven" in polish. :)

we ordered from a lady that spoke polish to everyone else in the joint (except us) since most of her constituency was polish. she was really nice.

we ordered a stuffed chicken that she claimed was one of her top sellers and we soon found out why. it was covered in a thick sauce (not sure what i would compare the taste to) and stuffed with perfectly tender yet crisp mushrooms. the entree came with two sides so we chose the red cabbage salad and sauerkraut.

the red cabbage salad was unreal. wow.

one polish/russian dish that we have always loved is borscht. they didn't have the traditional red beet borscht tonight, but she did have a white ukranian borscht that we tried.

it was really tasty and had small pieces of kielbasa and some shredded veggies, as well as a somewhat surprising addition of half of a boiled egg!

the other traditional polish food that we love is pierogi, and we got a nice plate of meat pierogies, sauerkraut pierogies, and cheese and potatoes pierogies. ahhhh.... so good!

let me tell you, this was one happy guy.

hopefully, this enticing food blog will coax some of you to come see us once we get our apartment. maybe another time i'll blog about the pastry shop we visited afterwards. i just didn't want to overload your visual taste buds.

jed and i both had very good interviews this week that we are hoping will be eventual jobs for us. mine was with polytechnic institute of nyu and jed's was with berkeley college. we realize that it all continues to be in God's hands, but we are very hopeful to hear back from them early this week. thank you for continuing to pray!

no news is...no news

2009-03-16T09:27:00.004-04:00

it's been awhile since i've updated on our brooklyn situation, so i think today is a good day for that. when i say our "brooklyn situation," i'm referring to the part of our lives where we're looking for jobs and eventually an apartment. jed and i both continue to have movement with our resumes as recruiters have been calling us and interviewing us, which is quite encouraging still. i had my first actual job interview on wednesday and i'm waiting to hear back from them on whether or not they will hire me. jed has a possible job opportunity from a connection with a friend here in new york, but it's still a newer opportunity that he hasn't had a chance to interview for yet. the opportunity that he had with sanford-brown institute (the one where he went through all four stages of the interview) is no longer a possibility. he was very close to being hired, and then they closed down the position he was interviewing for due to budget reasons, so we're believing that this is protection from God for something that may not have been best.

while both of these opportunities would be significant blessings to us immediately, we continually rest in our God who promises his best for his children right when the timing is best. we are still living with our friends, the craftons, which continues to be a huge means of grace to us. plus, we get the entertainment of a two-year-old at our fingertips! and let me tell you, the entertainment is nothing short of hilarious. another plus of being in the northeast is having two of jed's siblings nearby in eastern pennsylvania. we stayed with his sister for a little over a week before coming back to brooklyn last tuesday. we're very thankful to have such support from both friends and family!

we are so thankful to be in the city we love, and we continue to ask God for help and strength and wisdom for one day at a time. we'll try to get jobs as soon as possible so that we can then get an apartment so that then we can be set up for a continuous flow of guests. until then, thanks for praying.

greater things

2009-03-08T16:29:00.003-04:00

our dear friend and fellow brooklyn addict, stephen o'bryan, has recently started a new blog to expose needs around the world, mention worthwhile information concerning current topics, and stir awareness about what God is so awesomely doing around the world through believers and unbelievers alike. check out his blog here and feel free to encourage him in this endeavor for Christ.

a lot of times we go through each day not really aware of what's around us, or worse yet taking for granted the common grace that we all receive through Christ, so we appreciate what stephen is doing and hopefully some of the zeal will rub off on us.

it's all good

2009-02-26T11:28:00.005-05:00

today is day number thirteen in brooklyn, and it's day number thirteen of loving the city. each day we have grown more aware of why God would bring us here, and we continue to be thankful for the change even though it's been...well, change.

i've always silently preached at the stereotypical older person who can't bear even the most minute sign of change in life, and now i am humbled to realize that i fit somewhat into that category at the ripe age of twenty-seven. after living in one place for five and a half years, we grew so very comfortable and attached to the habits we lived and the comforts of familiar people around us. at the same time, we kept telling ourselves that our suburban life was over soon and we couldn't wait to get to the city.

and now it's day thirteen, and we're finding out what change means. 'round about day three or four, change was feeling quite odd. but day thirteen has brought about the true ease of change in all its splendor and glory. nothing has been unbearable about our move; our wonderful friends and city comforts have made the transition flawless, and we thank God for them. it only takes a small amount of time for new to become old, and because of the prayers and love of people i think that time frame was made smaller.

we are still without job and home, but we're trusting that he will give them to us in the right time. it's been deliciously cold for the past 13 days, and coupled with the decaf americanos and zucchini raspberry chocolate chip muffins, the move has been made easy. we're so thankful that God has helped us over the last thirteen days and that he's given us peace, comfort, help, and strength. we've needed it all!

saturday is jed's birthday, so we'll be heading out to see family in eastern pennsylvania for the next week to job hunt from outside the city and turn the celebrating into a week-long event. even though we've been here for just under two weeks, we've already mentioned this morning how it's going to be weird not being in the city we love.

thank you everyone for your prayers and love. keep praying! jobs are right around the corner...

craziness is good for the soul

2009-02-17T12:14:00.009-05:00

i was hoping to get the next post done right away with pictures and all kinds of entertainment, but our laptop hasn't arrived yet so maybe next time. life since last wednesday has been so incredibly different than what our comfort zone has defined for us for the past 5.5 years! that's a good thing, considering that we really believe this is where we are supposed to be; but for habitual human beings that continually seek the most comfort, it's an odd time for us. we're learning that comfort isn't exactly the nirvana of life. although, we have so many family members and good friends who are attempting to make life as settled as it can be right now through their prayers and tangible gifts and love for us. what an awesome manifestation of God's grace to us so specifically!

my last day at emediagroup was on wednesday, the 11th. thursday and friday were filled with packing up our home and readying all our belongings for the truck. financially and situationally, we decided it was best to keep all our things in our sc apartment until we can find work and an apartment up here. jed's dad has kindly offered to drive the truck up with our stuff, and many friends have offered to help pack the truck for us in our absence. what a blessing!

we arrived in brooklyn on valentine's day with way more luggage than many airlines allow (it took 8 bins for us to get through security) but without any extra fees. i'm sure we raised a small amount of suspicion, if not just providing a bit of jolly in some people's unhappy airport lives. we just tried to laugh as much as possible and soak in as much of the moment as we could. i'm not always one to live in the moment, and i wish i would more. i know that one day we'll look back on this time of unemployment and homelessness as a really neat time of change and grace in our lives. going through it though, it's best to take one moment at a time.

we are staying with our dear urbanite friends dailey and michelle crafton until we can find jobs and an apartment. hopefully, that will only be a couple of weeks, but if not, others have offered to house us until we need it so we might be quite experienced vagabonds before long. jed has the final phase of an interview with sanford-brown institute today at 3pm. we're praying that this will be a great fit for him and that the interview process will soon be over, but we're resting in the fact that God's timing and wisdom is perfect for our situation.

in reading over this, i realize that we may sound like the most insane people to step out on this tight rope without any tangible net under us, but let me reassure you. in the midst of craziness, we continually are looking back at all the events of the last 5.5 years of our marriage and we see each event as a direct arrow to this specific step. God has paved the way, he has given us strength for the moment, he has prepared not only us but those around us, and he has filled in where our hearts lack faith and strength and hope. the peace that he gives in each moment of doubt is strong, and the comfort he brings during this humanly crazy time is warm. we're praising him and our confidence is in his hand that will not let us go.

on a lighter side, here are just a few observations in closing.

*you're not cool unless you only shower about once every five days

*car horns, car alarms, or sirens at all hours of the day or night should not actually be alarming

*public transportation rocks!

*whatever you can find to wear is fine to wear

*long johns are a must

*city life is so rad!

thanks for all your support, prayers, and love!

post-surgery, pre-move

2009-02-03T18:12:00.009-05:00

much is floating through our minds these days. sadness in leaving all our greenville family and our first apartment. exhilaration for the new adventure ahead! uncertainty about what is next. security in God's protective and loving hand.

jed's surgery went well as far as the doctors accomplishing what they set out to accomplish in surgery. he ended up getting about four different procedures done on his back by the second best surgeon (out of several surgeons and doctors) at laser spine institute. we were amazed over and again at God's provision throughout the week with financial help, extremely useful education about jed's condition, comfortable accommodations, and even beautiful weather. we didn't realize this before we got there, but apparently there are only four facilities in the world that perform what was done on jed's back! we felt quite privileged to have had the opportunity to even go for this operation. God is so good! below is a post-op picture of a much-relieved wife and a significantly high husband. please continue to pray for jed's back. they won't know the total effectiveness of the surgery for about another 4-8 weeks while the nerves and discs take time to heal. it's crucial for him to rest and take it easy, but hello we're moving our lives in approximately 11 days! we just want to rest in God's great timing and continual love for us as his children. it's so remarkable!

we were able to relax a little bit in between trips to lsi and a regimen of ice, rest, sleep, walks, etc. it was a beautiful time of year to be there with clear blue skies and awesome sunsets. we made it to the sand once while we were there, and it was beautiful!

saturday afternoon was a bit monumental for us as well. after having grown out his "unemployment beard and hair" since right before thanksgiving, jed received his interview haircut and beard trim. he now looks more employable. one comment he recieved last week from his niece ellie was "uncle jed, you're very hairy" while she proceeded to brush his beard with a barbie brush. hopefully the next thing he hears is "you're hired!" thanks for praying with us.

thank you again to all of you who so lovingly pray and care for us. it's hard to swallow the amazement at how good he is to us through each of you.

not for the faint at heart

2009-01-16T12:37:00.008-05:00

not only is this entry a long one, but it's also picture-free. which, if you're like me, tends to be a second-rate blog posting.

i've been holding off on "the big one" for quite some time just because we haven't really known what's going on. we've searched and wondered and prayed a lot, and even though there are still patches of fog, we are seeing more clearly each day. we just praise God for what he's doing and working in us!

let me start off by saying that lots has happened. second to the whole "when should we move and how can we get jobs" question in our heads has been the question of what the next step was with jed's back. he has been needing another surgery for a few months, but not needing like "unable to get out of bed" needing. we've been wrestling and praying about what to do. we don't feel that the best answer was another "open back" surgery like he had 3 years ago just because of all the scar tissue it left behind that has tended to be a nuisance to his back arthritis. not knowing what other options there were and having already tried chiropractic, we were at a bit of a loss.

providentially, jed's dad sent us a link of a place that we had heard about before but never looked into. it's called the laser spine institue and their website lists possible treatments available for jed's condition - spinal stenosis. there are only two lsi's in the states - one in tampa bay and one in phoenix. in mid-december we sent his most recent mri down to the one in tampa bay and waited for them to review it and call us back. they called back and told us what proceedures they would be doing and how much it could help. they do about 300 surgeries a month and have 8 reputable doctors on board at lsi, so we felt very comfortable with the idea of getting help from them. however, when we asked about insurance/cost, they told us that they don't deal with insurance and so it would be an out-of-network proceedure costing us around $30,000 (it's a $60,000-$80,000 proceedure). obviously, that settled it for us because there's no way we had $30,000 cash on hand. we took it as a sign from the Lord and just continued to wait and see and pray.

well, they called us on tuesday morning of this week and said that since they have a very slow schedule right now, (maybe because of people's deductible's renewing plus the recession, etc.) they wanted to at least get surgeries scheduled even if it meant pretty much giving them away. they offered the surgery to us for $5,000 cash due the day of the surgery which is an UNBELIEVABLE discount!!! after praying about it and taking time to think and get advice, we jumped on it! jed is tentatively scheduled to have surgery on january 29th in tampa bay. this is a tentative date right now only because the dr's at lsi would like updated records on his heart condition and a release from his cardiologist for the surgery. we've been told that his condition is an electrical problem and really nothing harmful according to research, so we're praying that it will be a quick checkup and the release form will be signed.

some amazing facts about this surgery: a quicker recovery time because of the laser method (he would be allowed to drive home if he wanted); very uninvasive (they only move muscles with a probe and don't cut anything); it's just a band-aid incision; he will walk out of the hospital after the surgery and he's told to take a very long walk the night of surgery; the doctors feel that they will be able to help some of his problems; it probably won't affect our moving schedule. we're so thankful that God has provided for this opportunity. though it's still a huge chunk of change, we've already been seeing ways that God provides and we gladly use our money for something this important! jed and i both will have to be in tampa for 5 days - 2 days of pre-op, day of surgery, physical therapy day, and check out day - which means being down there from the 26th-31st of january.

we have tried many different options with jed's back and though we never want to chase the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, we are confident that this is another step that God has for us. it's perfect timing!

now, as far as the nyc schedule goes: we'll be coming back to greenville after the surgery, but we plan on flying up to brooklyn sometime the week of february 9th. we're so excited! another huge answer to prayer is that God has worked it out so that my bosses are letting me take that entire week off and still come back to work for the first week in february to make just a tad bit more money while jed recovers. what an unexpected blessing! we're planning on leaving all of our things completely packed in our greenville apartment while we're in brooklyn looking for jobs and an apartment. dailey and michelle crafton and the people at williamsburg church have lovingly told us that we are more than welcome to stay with them as long as we need to, though our goal is to have jobs and an apartment by march 1st. we'll fly back down for a quick trip at the end of february to then pack the truck and drive it back up.

ta da! these are our plans, but God may have changes along the way (which has happened before) so we're taking it one day at a time and learning to trust and love him more. he's been so awesome to take care of us in these ways! we realize the importance of planning, but also the necessity of remaining extremely flexible.

if you've made it this far, not only would i like to congratulate you but i also hope you're rejoicing with us!

our holidays

2009-01-08T20:42:00.004-05:00

here are our families. more info on the move later...lots happening with little time to happen! woohoo!

8 stadtmillers and 32 tyrpaks = so much fun!

over-sung and under-thought

2008-12-15T09:48:00.003-05:00

as an adult, i've over-sung every single christmas song out there. from rockin' around the christmas tree to away in a manger, every christmas season brings repetitive christmas songs that have entirely lost their meaning. at least in my head. (please note: i'm not super disappointed that christmas shoes has lost it's meaning because it is entirely overplayed.) of course, each year there are a few new ones here and there. but as far as the awesome songs that tell of Christ's birth and the real reason why we pause to celebrate? not many new ones. however, last year we found our new favorite christmas music to listen to - Savior. the true meaning of christmas was revived in our hearts, and that album continues to teach us and minister to us year-round.

since jed has been out of town this weekend, my sister and i went to our church's christmas concert together last night. i'm rarely disappointed with our worship pastor's music choices, and last night was no exception. it was a traditional christmas celebration service with singing and scripture reading mixed together, but it was so very powerful! just a few phrases from traditional songs that really spoke to me....

who laid aside His rightful reign to take away our sin and shame
darkness is ended, sinners befriended
a thrill of hope
the King of Kings lay in a lowly manger....born to be our God
God and sinners reconciled
veiled in flesh
mild He lays His glory by
born to raise the sons of earth...(and)...give them second birth
King and God and Sacrifice
He comes to make His blessings flow far as the curse is found

what a wonderful time of year, and what an awesome reason to pause and praise God!

christmas

2008-12-02T12:06:00.005-05:00

well folks, it's officially december. (i know i'm a day late, but yesterday was such a funky day coming off of thanksgiving that i'm just not going to count it as a day) december is one of the most nostalgic, memorable, and meaningful months for me because we celebrate a holiday that mandates being with those we love and stopping our craziness to enjoy a moment of life. at no other time of year do we have so many reminders everywhere we go! i love it.

on my way to work this morning they were playing "sleigh bells" on the radio. it took me immediately back to our living room as a kid where we would wake up to christmas music almost every saturday and sunday during december. dad always had (and still has) this sparkle in his eye at christmastime, because as we all know "it's the most wonderful time of the year!" for some reason, "sleigh bells" is the christmas song that reminds me the most about him. he loved to talk about his trombone playing skills in high school because it mesmerized us, and he would tell us about the trombone neigh at the end and we could never believe that it wasn't indeed a horse. that's where i was on the way to work this morning - in my red fleece pj's that smelled like syrup listening to my dad get so pumped for christmas.

even a hot oven reminds me of christmas. well, i should rephrase that. a hot oven when it's cold outside reminds me of christmas. a hot oven when it's hot outside reminds me of being HOT and then i remember that it's summer and i should turn the stupid oven off. but back to the hot oven. only good things come from ovens. my mom was (is) an oven fiend. the christmas cookies she can whip up are continually amazing and she is never so excited about baking as she is at christmas! after she baked, she would leave the door open and we would crowd around and try to warm up. not exactly the perfect "open fire" that the song talks about i'm sure, but we loved an open oven.

aaaaaaaaaaa......christmas. ya gotta love it!

time flies when you're having fun

2008-11-18T11:35:00.003-05:00

our lives are going nuts over here right now, which would lead one to think that posts would get updated at an insanely regular rate, but nay. life is happening fast and we're just hangin' on and lovin' it! i guess that's why time has flown.

nonetheless, it's important (to me, at least) to chronicle all that God is doing as we see it happen, so here's an attempt not to forget anything.

the weekend after the phillies won the world series, jed and i made a trip to brooklyn for more evaluation, walking/exploring, and for jed, job hunting. jed left on thursday, november 6th, and i joined him on saturday. it was a whirlwind trip that made us love clinton hill, brooklyn, even more as we walked all over it. i would describe the neighborhood as old, full of people, on the verge of growing drastically, and artistic and whimsical in its taste. we look so forward to living up there and becoming part of the community that God desires to draw to Himself!

between the time that jed's internship ended on october 31st right up until he left for new york, he blitzed the internet with his resume in hopes to get a few interviews while in the city. though he never got an interview while we were there, we are excited about one possibility in particular that dailey crafton got for jed. it is with new york university's recruiting/admissions office in the medical science training program. we've been waiting to hear back from them for an interview, but they have assured us that their hr department will slow things down. pray that God will work in this specific opportunity so that jed will get a job.

our move, at this point, is hinging on jed's job. we feel it slightly risky to move without a job at this point, though we may have to resort to that come january. we're ready to go! it's starting to sink in that we're leaving soon, and the feelings are bittersweet (though heavier on the sweet side). we're going to miss our friends and family that have become such integral parts of our lives, yet we know that the new life ahead of us is what God has burdened and excited us for.

more updates (and pictures - maybe) to come in the next few weeks. on the slightly less important side, let me comment on the mundane happenings in a nutshell. the art show went well on the 7th and 8th; i have another one coming up on the 4th of december; leave it to the eagle's to make history (a tie?!); jed jogged on the treadmill this weekend with strong stability in his knee for the first time in 13 years!; and, we will be spending thanksgiving with my family and christmas with jed's family.

peace and love.

event of a lifetime

2008-10-30T13:15:00.013-04:00

*let me preface this posting by stating that i will hereby not be giving any specific stats relating to the phillie's record, current status, or projected effects on other philadelphia teams. not because i don't know them, but because i don't know them exactly. i know when to boo, when to cheer, when to bunt, when to walk, etc. but statistics are different. in person, i can get by with mumbling some statistics under my breath in the name of "carrying on a conversation" or "impressing my man," but the risk i run of solid mockery should a printed statistic be false is high (see post on marrying into a dynasty of philadelphia diehards). end of preface.*

in the five years i've been married, i have learned that when history is made, you watch it. world series. march madness. the olympics. wimbledon. the masters. and of course, the superbowl. at first i didn't quite enjoy that, but it has become a significantly enjoyable passion for both me and jed. sometimes things happen in big events that could make the record books of history, and missing such an event would be missing out on your small part in the timeline of man. it's serious folks. just think, i will be able to tell my kids that i got to see that arrogant dude federer get beat by the little 'ole long-haired spaniard nadal. and when tiger woods won with a messed up knee/shin. and when michael phelps' amphibious qualities awed the world. and when coach k lead the redeem team to the gold. and when adam morrison cried like a baby. i watched it.

but this whole phillies thing is quite amazing. the fans have lived and died by their philadelphia teams, and the phillies world series win is no exception. last night, hours after the game had ended and i had passed out asleep, jed lay awake in the dark with his eyes wide open just soaking up the five games that had changed history for the entire city. you always hear about these middle-of-the-night phones calls you get because of a death or accident, but now add to that list a sports-inflicted insomniac. a bit after midnight, jed's brother john called and they were able to find comfort in each other's inability to settle down. rather, i think they just ended up pumping each other up all over again while replaying utley's amazing fake, the crowd going wild at the end singing "we are the champions" in unison, and even projecting the future prowess of the eagle's.

i've been hearing the legends of mitch "wild thing" williams blowing it for the phillies in '93, and thus continuing the philadelphia curse. and i actually have believed in the curse. maybe it's because they threw snowballs at santa or maybe it's because they're the truest fans (good and bad) in the history of sports, or maybe it's just because the whole state is snafooed. i don't know. the important thing is that now i have witnessed a philadelphia win in my lifetime, and not everyone can say that. history has been made, the curse is lifted, and now it's time for the sixers and eagles to show out, too! better yet, maybe the philadelphia curse will make its' way to boston now.

illyria pottery, just between you and me books, & green shadow accessories

2008-10-20T09:09:00.009-04:00

i'm getting really excited about our upcoming art show! once again, christin pratt and katie coston and i are getting together for a christmas show with a few themed gifts and great stocking stuffers. katie is hosting the event again and from what i hear there will be many new ceramic designs from the kiln. i've seen some of christin's newest books and they're incredibly creative and beautiful (she did the super hot design for our invites)! i'll also be bringing some of my newest accessory designs, so be sure to stop by and take a look! it'll for sure get you in the christmas mood. hot wassail, art, cool studio - what more could you ask for?

friday, november 7th from 6-9pm & saturday, november 8th from 10am-3pm @ katie coston's studio/home (416 perry ave, greenville, sc 29601)

see you there!

randomimnity

2008-10-10T09:13:00.010-04:00

i've been waiting until i can get some awesome sweet pics to go with the post about this past weekend, but it's now officially overdue so i'll wait 'til next week to blog about that. but for this week, you're stuck with randomness. my mind wanders, so maybe by sharing them i can have some type of cathartic experience.

random thought #1 - southern drivers are about to drive me to an early grave. while being in the north this past weekend, i felt safe knowing that the skilled drivers around me knew what they were doing and did it confidently. down here, i feel raw and terrified each time i venture out into an intersection. i'm not talking about the people who run a red light, because let's face it - we all tell ourselves that the yellow will last longer. i'm more so referring to the people who have the right of way, and stop in the middle of the road and wave you through even though it's their turn and they have the right of way. it's their "good deed for the day" yet it only causes fear and confusion. when it comes to driving, we need to be somewhat robotic and non-negotiable with the laws of driving, people. it's just safe.

**side note: i realize the above random thought is based in drastic regional-profiling, but i'm unrepentant.

random thought #2 - i cannot wait for colder weather to come. i'm sporting short sleeves today and it's october! i remember having to wear nine layers of clothing under my halloween outfit just to prevent frostbite! sigh.

random thought #3 - i am so glad that God has given me eyes that see! almost every morning on my way to work, i am greeted with a beautiful sky from God as a gift to help start the day. what a privilege to have a God that is loving and caring enough to work the sky's art on an enjoyable canvas every day! if i could paint, my primary subject would be the amazing creation of God's sky.

early christmas shopping

2008-09-29T14:25:00.015-04:00

i am always amazed at other people's minds and essentially the handmade items that flow from those minds. one of my pledges this christmas season is to buy/trade handmade for as many gifts as i can, and in return put on my own wish list all handmade items (or cash-haha). in order to support the industry, let me encourage you to visit etsy - it's the best place to find any type of handmade item ever known to man!

one of my most favored artists on etsy is elephannie. she is an apartment-dweller's fairy godmother! with the resignation that my walls will probably be white for most of the rest of my life due to the wonderful and exciting fact that we'll be moving to nyc in january and living in an apartment 'til we claw the walls and beg for mercy, i have found much hope in elephannie and the ability to make a white wall snag some pizzazz. the pics below are my faves!

calling

2008-09-15T09:34:00.003-04:00

cities are full of people, a well known fact that is often taken for granted. people can’t help but come to the city. the tall gray buildings and the quaint, more aged brownstones paint such pretty invitations to the masses that their allure can’t be mistaken. like type a bosses, its streets follow the people around every corner and through every alley, watching each step, even shedding clarity to muffled minds.

in turn, some people are full of the city. they love the city! it fires their days to brush shoulders with the masses and pound the pavement everywhere they go. their blood has smog in it and their souls long for the solace and comfort provided by hoards of fellow city-lovers.

it’s an odd relationship - a city is made of people, and the people make a city. they each need the other like co-dependents, leaning hard on the other’s exhaustive presence. were there no people, a city would be harsh and drab. were there no cities, people would grow hardened, despondent, and aloof by country life. make no mistake, there are some who prefer to leave the cities to the city-lovers, but that’s a different co-dependent relationship for another pondering moment.

i’m sure that some day in my 80’s when i have had enough of life and people and the joys of living, i’ll recant and hole up in a barn somewhere in the country. but until then, i’m convinced that i need the city. we need the city. with all its tough, unsympathetic grandeur and its magnificent, frosty air, i believe we're in that group of earthlings drugged by the city. regardless of the illogically small living space and confoundedly high cost of living, it calls us and begs us to occupy a small plot of cement. the only thing it asks in return is love; love for its people and love for their inner-city souls.

e-a-g-l-e-s eagles!

2008-09-08T14:55:00.006-04:00

yesterday commenced the 7-month hiatus from life known as the nfl. (well, it started on thursday but the important team didn't play 'til yesterday.) i have married into what i call a dynasty of true football fanatics, and these 7 months can be the most emotional 7 months of the year for eagles fans. philadelphia eagles, that is.

i've been climbing the class ladder for the past five years in hopes that someday when i wake up out of the non-season coma, i will have been reborn into the elite "true fan" class. (please note: when I first met jed i was painfully yet naturally stuck in the "ignorant" class, tho' i'm not sure which class i'm in currently)

the game yesterday was an invigorating and pump-you-up season starter, and the fans definitely felt it. usually the eagles' luck is so low that you can't even scrape it up with steel wool, but yesterday it almost didn't seem that way. but we'll see. there's always the "but" in a season. there are bound to be a few cannonballs and suicide hills in the emotional roller coaster this season, but i love being along for the ride!

bits and pieces

2008-08-25T09:27:00.002-04:00

it feels like i haven't blogged in quite a long time, and since there's so much going on i've decided to give a "bits and pieces" report. it will be sterile, sans depth, emotion, sarcasm, technique, or skill. it's a plain yogurt report without flavor or color, but hopefully it won't leave such a nasty after-taste.

*beach weekends and time with family*

this summer has been sprinkled with time at wrightsville beach, nc, with jed's visiting family. the weekend after we got back from NYC, jed's sister and family came south to visit jed's brother and wife in nc, and so jed's parents plus jed's youngest brother plus me and jed went up to wilmington, nc, to struggle in the waves as a family. quite a fun weekend, full of sand, late nights, and lots of laundry to bring back. good memories...

*green shadow's show*

on august 15th and 16th, the green shadow participated in an end-of-summer show with katie coston from illyria pottery (the hostess) and christin pratt from just between you and me. what an awesome experience! i'll be posting all the discounted stuff that didn't sell on my etsy site so check back soon (www.greenshadow.etsy.com). not only was it my first show, but the other artists taught me a lot about marketing, demand, and the entire art business. super good fun! and, we're looking at doing a christmas show on november 7th and 8th - mark your calendars!

*jed's acl reconstruction*

the 19th of august marked surgery day for jed. no eating or drinking after midnight the day before so we made sure to stay up and eat and drink right up until midnight. poor guy. it was a hamstring transplant acl reconstruction so there are 4 incisions and lots of bruising. he's such a trooper, though! after gnawing through the pain the first two days, we've got it under control now and he's doing a bit better. he's the best patient a wife could ask for. my mom always told me (along with every other woman i've known) - "guys don't deal too well with pain so beware!" however, i think i'm more of a wimp than jed. he's just great. his 7-day appointment is tomorrow so we're hoping for lots and lots of good news. the best news he could hear at this point would be that he didn't have to sleep in that hot, bulky, tight immobilizer any more.

*back to school*

for the first time since i've known him, jed's not starting school this fall. no new correspondence course, no new classes to attend, no nothin'. wow. however, my li'l sis and bro are coming down to sc to ring in a new year at college. it'll be preston's junior year, and he's glad to be back because he'll get to see his girlfriend. abi is starting her freshman year at *sniff* COLLEGE! i'm so old. i remember when she was born. i remember when she used to terrorize me and i would boss her around. now we're both old enough to be ashamed at such acts, but we each think it still. it'll be so great to have them both here. good chance to spend time with them before heading up to the city! they get here on thursday and it's party time 'til labor day. wish me luck - i can never keep up with my wild family.

the end.

brooklyn, nyc

2008-08-05T14:37:00.007-04:00

well, we've been back in greenville for approximately 65ish hours and my goodness do i miss the city. we miss the city. there were many prayer requests before going up there, but a specific one of my own was that God would give me a deeper burden for the people of the city, not just the city itself. one of the goals of williamsburg church was to have us conduct surveys of the people of williamsburg and greenpoint that would give them a better idea of the constituency of those neighborhoods. we asked questions like "if you could tell christians one thing, what would it be?" and "what is your spiritual condition?" and "how would you define religion?". the answers were very revealing since new yorkers typically share their opinions without too much nudging, and God used those surveys in my own life to show me how much people need him.

jed and i left the team a couple of times to go walk through a few potential neighborhoods of interest. one common theme was people. and they were everywhere! i think i can say that we wouldn't ever run out of people to minister to. now that we're back in south carolina, the one thing that we miss the most about new york is the people. did you know that i can leave my house in the morning, go to work, take a lunch break, and go back home at night after work and only come into direct contact with about 30 people? in new york, i could run into that many people by about 10am. it's amazing. the unique thing about urban settings is that the people come to you. no hunting out in the bushes for people to minister to, God brings them right to you!

our hearts grow more impatient by the day, it seems. we long to be up there more than ever. there are many things that still need to be tied down, but we often wonder if january will come soon enough!

it's official

2008-07-17T11:31:00.005-04:00

i believe i have definitely joined the ranks of "the old". if you are old and reading this, please understand, there is no animosity here. possibly a spirit of disillusioned resign, but no animosity.

the reason i think i'm officially in the old category now is based on one thing alone: my recent and new-found love for mornings. growing up, i would hear my grandmother talk about waking up the birds in the mornings and watching the sun rise. as a young teen with full ability to sleep 'til high noon, it baffled me. how on earth can you actually enjoy getting up early?! isn't your day wrecked? don't the bags under your eyes sag and darken? is it possible to act humane after getting up that early? i've never understood.

that is, until now. recent events and schedules have awakened in me the necessity to get my exercise in the mornings instead of in the evenings like i previously did. (i talk about it like it's a regular thing, but please don't be fooled. we're workin' on it.) the winter months were grueling. getting out of bed to step onto a cold floor, shuffling into exercise clothes, and then getting slammed with the rudely cold morning air was not always something that bred sanctification in me. but the summer months are amazing!

i get up with the sun. yep, i said it. up with the sun. the morning air isn't rude, but alive and somehow wispy. the birds are chirping like it's going out of style and the whole world is a shade of green that you don't see in the daytime. and the sky. wow! the thirty minutes that i spend outside under the morning sunrise are the most beautiful and special thirty minutes of the day.

i do have hope though. my parents and my in-laws talk of waking up before dark and not being able to go to back to sleep for some unknown reason. "kids, it's part of getting older" is the reason i hear most. i, however, can sleep 'til 11am very easily on saturdays and not feel any older. and, to give further hope, i spend the first five minutes of the day in a completely schizophrenic experience.

"you feel like trash. go back to sleep!"

"what, only to wake up to the alarm twice today? yeah right."

"thirty more minutes will make you feel better."

"have you ever fallen completely back into rem after waking up to the alarm? seriously."

"so this is worth it? c'mon."

"but remember how i felt yesterday after i got back? amazing!!"

"but look how you feel now."

and on and on and on for a good few minutes, and then i snap out of it (not because i take meds, mind you). walking outside in the mornings is like a secret garden experience, opening the door to the undisturbed world waiting for me. waking up with the rest of the earth is such an exhilarating gift. everyone i pass is peeling junk out of their eyes too. it's a great world at 6am in the summer.

in no particular order...

2008-07-14T10:48:00.004-04:00

things i wish for:

a green thumb
three-day weekends
never-ending supply of desserts (pudding would do)
a yearly trip to europe
long saturdays

things i need to get rid of:

excess hair concoctions that i never use (pomades, cremes, waxes, etc.)
cynical/sarcastic outlook
box of sewing ambitions (who am i kidding)
ugly wedding gifts that i'm holding onto because they were *sniff* wedding gifts

things i'm thankful for:

an uber-wonderful husband
all that i need
good health
God's creation
family (even the odd ones)
hope in life everlasting, a hope that will not disappoint
friends that still hang out with me
ice cream

things i shouldn't like so much:

ice cream
the word "crap"
doing nothing at all
excuses
doing nothing at all

newest fave

2008-06-27T13:24:00.008-04:00

i often have lull moments at the office where i jump around from blog to blog snooping in on what's happening in the world. last night, fellow blog-addict and dear friend, susan, showed me her newest find - city girl meets cowboy and turns into the pioneer woman. and yes, it's amazing.

city girl, a.k.a. ree, blogs about her new photography business, unbelievable food experiments, thoughts, and just hilarity in general. last night while at susan and dan's home for dinner, we had ree's crash potatoes and pots de creme and (can i get a witness) they were incredible.

thanks susan for the introduction. i look forward to many more entertaining experiments and laughs!

not so hot

2008-06-10T14:37:00.010-04:00

recently, it has definitely not felt like june in south carolina. maybe the end of july, but not the beginning of june. as i drove home from work yesterday at 5:30, it was actually 103 degrees out. there was no "ease your way into summer" - it was just BAM! hello summer.

but we like summer. i told jed yesterday that i'm addicted to the season changes. i, of course, have my favorite depending on where i'm at (summer in FL, fall in the city, winter in the north, and spring everywhere), but all in all every season shatters the fatigue from the previous season. so exciting!

not so excitedly though, have i been about waking up in the night and feeling really hot or having to take two showers a day to feel good. you would think that a girl from africa wouldn't really flinch until the 120's hit, but that's all going to change.

today i read a priceless blog posting of a friend who is enduring her first summer in nyc. after reading her dehydrated story full of sweltering expression (and after laughing just a bit), i have, with her help, come to the conclusion that it's all perspective. if you expect not to be hot but to be cool and comfortable, then it's going to feel horrible when you're not cool and comfortable!

like exercising. when i used to work out, i expected to somehow enjoy it or not feel like throwing bricks. that is, until a wise woman told me that it's all about learning how to be uncomfortable. you have to learn to be okay with sucking air until your sinuses hurt and coaxing each muscle into going one more lap. if you're not okay with that, then don't exercise.

likewise, if i'm not going to be okay with sweating like a pig, then i might just not enjoy the life until it's sweater weather again. personally, i'm not willing to give that up, so the only other option was to like - no, embrace - sweating. as it gets hotter, i will thank God that i'm not an orphan in siberia. when the first sweat of the day breaks, i will thank God that i had a few moments of clean irish spring smell up until that point. and when the first good hair day turns into a complete grave yard, i will thank God that i even have hair to look bad.

so for now, i say "cheers to summer!"

lyrics

2008-06-04T12:35:00.004-04:00

music happens to be one of the biggest ways for me to meditate and remind myself of God's goodness and perfection as the one who is in complete control of his creation. jed came home several weeks ago after work and insisted that i hear this song. it has been awesome to think on for the past few weeks! i'm guessing that for most people, it's a conclusion that is hard to come to, but yet it's the most freeing conclusion as well. see here for ordering info on come weary saints.

as long as you are glorified
by mark altrogge

shall i take from your hand your blessings
yet not welcome any pain
shall i thank you for days of sunshine
yet grumble in days of rain
shall i love you in times of plenty
then leave you in days of drought
shall i trust when i reap a harvest
but when winter winds blow, then doubt

oh let your will be done in me
in your love i will abide
oh i long for nothing else as long
as you are glorified

are you good only when i prosper
and true only when i’m filled
are you king only when i’m carefree
and God only when i’m well
you are good when i’m poor and needy
you are true when i’m parched and dry
you still reign in the deepest valley
you’re still God in the darkest night

© 2008 Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

people are people

2008-05-22T09:35:00.008-04:00

i've come to realize this week that i am not truly a people- oriented person.

one of the dear men in our church died last saturday, and i was just getting to know his daughter better. consequently, even though i didn't know him well, jed and i attended the funeral yesterday. i have only been to a handful of funerals in my lifetime, but never have i walked out with such a lump in my throat and so many lessons to learn. there were several testimonies/eulogies yesterday that continued to reinforce the common thread throughout them all - this man loved people.

he didn't just love being around people as though he feared being alone, and he didn't use people to fill his needs for friendship. he intricately cared about the people around him and everyone around him knew that! his deep love for others and selfless care for himself is an example of the Christ-like love i only hope to imitate in my lifetime.

i'll admit that i need people, and i even love a lot of people, but not selflessly. my thoughts this week have been brought to remembering how the ultimate example in this world loved people perfectly, even though the people he loved weren't nearly as perfect as he.

it's something to chew on. loving people as people and loving them without any thought to yourself is an awesome responsibility, but the way to the most joy.

jury duty

2008-05-12T09:10:00.002-04:00

the oddest thing happened to me and jed - we both got jury duty on back-to-back weeks! my jury duty was last week, and thank goodness i didn't get chosen. turns out, i knew one of the parties being defended, and the other party's attorney does printing with the business i work for. i guess that meant i would have an opinion about the matter, so fortune smiled on me and i left.

however, before leaving, i couldn't help but look around me and notice how entertaining people are. there are several categories i would divide my fellow jurors into: those blissfully unaware of the world around them, the quiet obervers of the world around them, and those bored in every aspect of life.

category one is always defined by particularly entertaining people. a few gems from this category were in the waiting room with me that day, and the strength it took to keep my jaw shut was great. one in particular loudly proclaimed the stories of her past jail stents, an arrest for assault and battery, and current accusations from a "friend" of hers. i was glad to hear that she quit wearing a knife in her boots just a few months ago. she gets a 5 star rating on the "blissfully unaware of the world around them" chart. most people would change their identity before offering such information.

category two is what i would place myself into. i brought a book with me, but the people from category one made it too tough to read. it was even tempting to take notes of all these people, but i figured that might be too obvious. (thankfully, the mental inscription these people gave me remains for at least a few more months.) on occasion, a category one will venture into a conversation with a category two and the category two typically glances at another category two with a pleading look in their eyes that says "HELP!" conversations between category ones and category twos just don't happen too much.

what does happen more often is that the category one people chase after the category three people and stun them with fact and fiction, without end. most of the category threes are dying to be entertained in some shape or form, but simply possess no ability for entertainment in themselves. of course, this is category one's delight!

the conclusion to my assessment of the situation is this: when people are anonymously thrown into a room, they automatically assume a category and then immediately bond with those in their category. the ensuing entertainment is truly beyond words. i guess we'll see what happens to jed today...

graduation day

2008-05-05T13:00:00.003-04:00

i guess there are always going to be significant milestones in life as long as you keep on living, but this past saturday seemed to mark a huge one for us. our wedding was a huge milestone and our first child will be a huge milestone someday, but for the past 5 years together, looking forward to jed's graduation has been the prominent goal. he's worked so hard and studied so late and lost much sleep, but God has been good and he walked the aisle on saturday to receive his diploma! it took him six and a half years to complete his master of divinity, and i could not be more proud of him. for the first time in all of his life, he bears no school guilt! he will never have to choose between systematic theology and a party; or between studying for a test and watching a movie; or between staying up to work on a project and sleeping. neither of us know what it's like to be married without school, so we're quite pumped. congrats to jed!!!

i guess we're bloggers

2008-05-01T14:04:00.001-04:00

i'm not sure where to start or if even i know what to do, but i guess i'm going to blog. i don't think it's necessarily that i want to be heard or have this deep need to express my voice, but sometimes i feel like talking to a void so here is where my journal to him (or her) will be.

sometimes i wake up in the morning with words and scenes playing out in my mind. perhaps it's because of my dreams or perhaps it's because of a hidden psychological disorder, but nonetheless, i have no painting or drawing skills to use as an outlet for these wild ideas (aside from incredibly instructed paint-by-numbers). so, i imagine my thoughts on emails and words to others to be the painting of that picture that i wake up with each morning.

when i expressed my thoughts to jed about maybe starting a blog, he informed me that i would probably end up being the sole blogger for the two of us (unless the eagles win the superbowl - i'm sure he'd blog about that). i don't mind that one bit, but please be informed that this is just the one side of life with jed and amy. maybe someday, dear void, you will hear from my jed and he will entertain you endlessly more than i will.

until then, i type away and i type for us both. my goal is to keep a record of what is going on in our lives, entertain you as i have been entertained by other bloggers, and (last but not least) keep a record of how great God is to us.